Funny Mormons » LDS Culture

Bear or Bare Your Testimony

admin — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 17:31:31 +0000

My wife was trying to figure out which is correct, bear or bare, when referring to sharing testimony. Of course, she consulted with Google and this is what she found.

The discussion made us laugh. Don’t judge us.

Margin Of Error:
First, AngelLynn, I promise I’m not trying to be rude. But really, is it bear your testimony or bare your testimony? I can see how either one would work. Which should it be?
Digital Shadow:
“bare your testimony” – 185 hits on google
“bear your testimony” – 5040 hits on google

Google has spoken.
Margin Of Error:
I hope you didn’t show the GoogleGod your face when he spoke.
Digital Shadow:
No, but I forgot to end with: “I say these things in the name of Google, amen.”
Margin Of Error:
Seriously, I almost just peed my pants. You rule, DS!

Tom Cruise on Home Teaching

admin — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 20:40:38 +0000

One word. Funny.
Well done. There have been a lot of spoofs on the Tom Cruise interview about Scientology but this Mormon themed spoof is the funniest I’ve seen.

Mormons in Reality TV

admin — Fri, 21 May 2010 21:19:34 +0000

Based on our participation in reality television there are a few things you might be able to say about mormons. We can sing (David Archulet, Carmen Rasmussen and Brooke White), we can dance (Fab Five, Benji Schwimmer, Heidi Groskreutz, Derek and Julianne Hough, and more), we can survive (several contestants on survivor), it must be all that conditioning serving missions to third world countries. Last of all we can lose a lot of weight. Several mormons have made it to the top 5 of the Biggest Loser. Right now Koli Palu is in the final 4! Sione and
, Filipe Fa also did very well. It is to the point that you can’t keep up with mormon reality show contestants almost every show will have one as a serious competitor each season.

What are your thoughts on reality TV? Would you do it? Which show? Do mormons ever get on Amazing Race. You’d think they might do well if you get a couple RMs that each speak a different second language.

Fathers and Sons Season

admin — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 17:56:26 +0000

Is your ward doing a fathers and sons campout this Spring? Here is a sweet flyer I found.

Overheard at BYU

admin — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 16:25:43 +0000

A fun facebook fan page for sharing random quotes from BYU students and professors. Some examples:

Brother Bott: “dating at BYU is o.k. You should try it some time.”

A few days ago in the WILC there was this guy talking to his friends and he said, “Duuuude! I was in the periodicals today, and I screamed in my head ‘if you can read my mind, hit the table!’ and a bunch of people hit the table.”

Biology a couple days back. The teacher yells “MY Ovaries” as a way for us to remember meiosis

overheard a girl talking on the phone to someone about a date she had been on. This was the gist of the conversation: “I went on a date with a guy to a restaurant and he prayed before we ate our food.. And I don’t want to feel like a bad Mormon, but I don’t want to go out with him again because he prayed in a restaurant..”

Fake Mission Calls

admin — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 17:57:13 +0000

When young LDS men and women send in their papers to go on a mission they don’t know where they will go for the next 18-24 months. It is a time of excitement and anticipation. I have found several videos online of people pranking pre missionaries at this vunerable time. Here is one example. I thought today it might be a good idea to offer an online service for generating fake mission calls. Guests can enter the missionary’s name and choose the location and language and an authentic looking mission call is sent to their target. Any thoughts on the idea? Good idea? Bad idea?

Nomrom

admin — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 16:07:47 +0000

Hope you had a great Christmas and got everything you wanted. Did you celebrate nomrom this year? I found out about it a little too late. It was yesterday but I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt to celebrate on the 28th since it is right between Christmas and New Years. Plus it is family night tonight! Nomrom is Mormon backward. It is the day Mormons celebrate Mormon culture. So celebrate by having green jello, singing primary songs and enjoy some punch and cookies. What does your family do for Nomrom?

The Fireside Song

admin — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:14:31 +0000

The Fireside Song is an LDS parody of Adam Sandler’s Chanukah Song. I’ve heard a couple versions but this one is pretty good.

I decided to include another since I like the performance better.

Missionary Pranks A Kid

admin — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:14:16 +0000

Missionaries love to mess with neighborhood kids. I served in a Spanish speaking country and all the kids loved to practice their elementary school english on us. “Hey you Meesta!”, “Gud Moornink”. Anyway, sometimes they would ask us how to say different phrases in English. We would change the phrases on them for fun. For example, they might ask, “How do you say, ‘I am the best’, in English?” Well, we would tell them something like, “I’m a weenie!” They would then continue to yell, “I’m a weenie!”. Every time we would see that kid he would yell, “I’m a weenie!”

So Blessed, Seriously!!

admin — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:56:03 +0000

Seriously so blessed is a very popular blog parody of a young shallow mormon woman. The funny part is that I have been to real blogs that are a lot like this. The different size and color font for emphasis, using the word preggo, hubby, wifey, Sooo cute, cuteness, teensy…SERIOUSLY!

Here is an example from the blog. See more at seriouslysoblessed.blogspot.com

Guess who is preggo?? No seriously, guess.

No, not me thanx for rubbing it in.

No, not Yvette duh, she’s going to freakin’ Syberia and’d be LUCKY to even have to WORRY about getting preggo but honestly, no offense but she’s never even frenched I bet.

No, not Lynzii, well that I know of, we aren’t really speaking right now {I’ll tell you why later I’m to ticked right now to dish on everything.}

Ready. Sit down. Seriously, sit down.

Ruth, my boaring frump of a SIL.

Isn’t that RUDE of her? I’m not even mad that she just told everyone “We’re expecting” at dinner and didn’t even announce it cute or creative. Honestly guys I’m just appauled at her insensitiveness of even getting preggy right now. Fine, I already have twins, and fine I just barly announced that I was stopping seeing what happened bc of how gross it would be to be so preggers in summer, but this means that she was trying when she knew fullwill that I was thinking about trying and that is just selfish.